The red dot on the map shows the rute, 14.200 km. Good advice traveling Australia There are some traps for the unsuspecting traveller. Do not under any circumstances suggest that the beer is imperfect, unless you are comparing it to another kind of Australian beer. Do not wear a Hawaiian shirt. Religion and Politics are safe topics of conversation (Australians don't care too much about either) but Sport is a minefield. The only correct answer to "So, howdya' like our country, eh?" is "Best {insert your own regional swear word here} country in the world!". It is very likely that, on arriving, some cheerful Australians will 'adopt' you on your first night, and take you to a pub where Australian beer is served. Despite the obvious danger, do not refuse. It is a form of initiation rite. You will wake up late the next day with an astonishing hangover, a foul-taste in your mouth, and wearing strange clothes. Your hosts will usually make sure you get home, and waive off any legal difficulties with "It's his first time in Australia, so we took him to the pub", to which the policeman will sagely nod and close his notebook. Be sure to tell the story of these events to every other Australian you encounter, adding new embellishments at every stage, and noting how strong the beer was. Thus you will be accepted into this unique culture. Most Australians are now urban dwellers, having discovered the primary use of electricity, which is air-conditioning and refrigerators. Tips to Surviving Australia: * Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever. We mean it. * The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is. * Always carry a stick. * Air-conditioning. * Do not attempt to use Australian slang, unless you are a trained linguist and good in a fist fight. * Thick socks. * Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby. * If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die. * Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore. © Copyright
Erik Straarup
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